“Is this real, is this real, this life I am living?”
The Pawnee

It seems as if every day someone is challenging our perception that something is – or is not – real. Manti T’eo, Lance Armstrong, TV news, politicians are asking us, in the sub-text, is this real? Or is it illusion?
Unconsciously, every day, our perception and our belief systems are challenged to determine on what reality we behave.
Is there really a looming debt crisis?
Can we really get a free trip five-day to the Caribbean on a cruise liner?
Did Lance really take all those drugs?
Was there a real girlfriend who died and tugged at our heartstrings?
Is the second amendment to the Constitution really threatened?
Does she really mean it when she says ‘I love you?’
Is an abortion a sin?
Every day, defining reality. Look at this in terms of power.
One of the first things we do when we enter any new situation is to attempt to determine what reality we face. Our everyday language reflects this: “What’s going on here?” “Hey, what’s happening?” ”What do we have here?” “What’s the situation?” Even “Wha’s up?”
Sometimes this is done with urgency, as when a doctor comes into an emergency room, and sometimes it takes months, beginning a new job and trying to see how things work. Essentially we are to establish what is real.
Once we think we know what is real, we will act on that reality, or perception, and spend some energy trying to convince others we know how things are. This happens in married couples all the time, one person trying to convince the other, “This is the way life is.” Or, this is really our problem.
As we grow up we learn what is real from our direct sensory experiences and from our parents, the latter especially related to interpersonal and social relationships. Our parents are in a very powerful position for they, at first, define our reality, our ideas about love, power, morality, reward and punishment and so on. In relationships as adults, the person who is able to define reality for others is a leg up in the power equation.
It’s a very important step in developing your own power base when you become aware of and define what is real for yourself. Part of that process is repeatedly affirming your own awareness, ideas, feelings, desires and needs.
In the meantime, TV reporters, politicians, church leaders, educators and public figures like those named above will try to convince you of the reality and the urgency of a given situation. As we move further and further into the technological/information age, we are more and more confronted with secondhand information – stories, requests, demands — that do not spring from our own direct experience.
The truly wise among us will be those who can separate the real from the illusion, and communicate about and operate on their own reality.
Or is it all illusion?