Neutral observation and personal preference can take the place of evaluation and blame.
Generally we have four kinds of responses to the actions of others: observation, personal preference, evaluation and inference. Observation is merely recording and reporting the actions of someone else, much as a video camera would. Nothing is added. Personal preference is a simple “I like it” or “I don’t like it.” Evaluation adds a moral element to what you have seen; it is good, bad, right, wrong, positive or negative. Inferences are the stories we make up in our minds about what someone else does. We are attempting to assign meaning, on our own, to what we’ve seen and heard. Remaining in the realm of observation and personal preference, you can bring the issue clearly and directly into focus. Judgment, faultfinding and blame muddy the water and entrap the other. Report what you see and hear and express your preference directly and honestly.